US actor Armie Hammer has revealed he was sexually abused as a teenager and nearly took his own life in his first interview following abuse allegations made against him.
The 36-year-old, who is best known for his role in Call Me By Your Name, was accused of rape by a woman in 2021 and a number of his former partners have alleged he was physically and emotionally abusive.
Messages detailing disturbing and violent sexual fantasies including cannibalism and rape – which Hammer is alleged to have sent – were also shared on social media in 2021.
The father-of-two vehemently denies all allegations against him, and in his latest interview said he is a “healthier, happier and more balanced person”.
Speaking to digital newsletter Air Mail, he said: “I’m now grateful for everything that’s happened to me. I’m able to be there for my kids in a way I never was.
“I’m truly grateful for my life and my recovery and everything. I would not go back and undo everything that’s happened to me.”
Hammer went on to explain more about what he described as his “intense and extreme lifestyle” in which he “scooped up” various women, and claimed his interest in BDSM evolved after he was abused as a 13-year-old.
He claimed the sexual abuse he endured at the hands of a youth pastor “set a dangerous precedent in my life” resulting in his sexual interests becoming about being in control.
“I’m here to own my mistakes, take accountability for the fact that I was an a**hole, that I was selfish, that I used people to make me feel better, and when I was done, moved on. And treated people more poorly than they should have been treated,” he said.
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‘Completely cancelled and blackballed’
Following the allegations Hammer stepped down from a film role opposite Jennifer Lopez and took to quarantining in the Cayman Islands, where he said he attempted to take his own life.
After being “completely cancelled and blackballed”, he described swimming as far out into the ocean as he possibly could, before realising his children were still on shore.
“I hoped that either I drowned, or was hit by a boat, or eaten by a shark… [but] I couldn’t do that to my kids,” he added.
Hammer shares two children with TV personality Elizabeth Chambers but the couple divorced after 10 years of marriage in 2020.
‘No one will hire me’
Describing his financial situation as “not broke” but “massively in debt”, last summer the actor was caught on video visiting a resort as he explored the possibility of selling timeshares on the Islands.
Once leaked to TMZ, the video resulted in an immigration investigation.
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“What can I do? It’s, like, you don’t want me to act, but then you’re not going to let me have a normal life, either?” Hammer said.
“No one will hire me. No one will insure me. I can’t get bonded for a project – nothing. And no one will touch me because if they hire me, then they are the people who support abusers. And then they’re liable to get cancelled themselves.
“Someone makes a mistake, and we throw them away like a broken disposable camera.”
Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK.
You can also seek support from Time to Change or the Mental Health Foundation.